Thursday, April 19, 2012

Q is for How NOT to Write a Query (4)

My A-Z this month is all about me and the people, places, and things that have made me who I am. Well, part of who I am is someone who likes to pontificate on subjects I know little about. Fortunately, I usually give obviously bad advice and horrible examples that can be picked apart for instructional purposes.

Mostly, I like taking good books and writing bad queries for them. Like so.


A-hem-a-hem-a-hem-a.
To Whom it May Concern:
Have you ever felt trapped in your own body? Unable to choose how you will talk or move? Can you imagine how it would feel to be taken over by a parasitic host that can control your every move? What if that parasite is better at being you than you are? Would you welcome an invader that could eradicate poverty? Cure any disease? Drop the crime rate to zero? 
Melanie doesn't care how good the invaders are at being human. She just wants to be left alone with her boyfriend Jared and her brother Jamie, to try to survive as three of the last remaining free humans. She doesn't get her wish. Instead, she is captured and taken over by Wanderer, a "soul" whose most important job is to help find the very humans Melanie would give her life for.

But Melanie is different: she refuses to fade away. Instead, her love for Jared and Jamie helps her hang around, fighting back in the only way she knows how: by concealing their location from Wanderer, who can read every thought in her head and examine every memory she’s ever made.
So can you guess the book? Can you spot my "mistakes?" Why doesn't this work?

Come back on April 23rd for a breakdown, to read the real blurb, and to learn why this author is one of my all-time favorites.

9 comments:

  1. Well, you certainly hooked me.
    Karen

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Shoot. That wasn't the point! In my defense, it's really hard to make this book sound uninteresting.

      Delete
    2. haha! Oh no!

      The first paragraph made me laugh. Nice work.

      Delete
  2. Hmm...could this by chance be a book that is going to be a movie soon?

    I hate questions being asked in presentations. Personal pet peeve, so the first paragraph made me crazy! Can't wait to see how you fix it :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You call that SOON?

      And what made you think I'd fix it? I'm totally just gonna steal the official blurb as the good example. ;)

      Delete
  3. I LOVED this book. In fact I recently listened to it again. I hope they do a decent job on the film It bothers me that it looks like they're doing it as YA.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Really? I guess if you look at the actors, huh? Not sure how I feel about that.

      Delete
  4. Now, THAT'S a hot mess! Funny though, you still make it sound interesting. I never read this one, though I know which book it is. Of course, I did read her other enormously famous series.

    You and I both wrote about queries today, though mine is the exact opposite of yours. I give a formula on how to write a query rather than on how NOT to.

    Are you really gonna make us wait until the 23rd?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL. I am a slave to the alphabet.

      And YOU need to repent and read the book already!

      Delete

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